Practical Truths

Why is getting out of the house on time in the morning with two preschoolers akin to herding one hundred cats through a small swinging door? Try as I might, I still can’t find the best way to encourage (or threaten) Son and Daughter to get dressed and out the door on time. It doesn’t matter how early we start to get ready, their silliness will find a way to delay our departure.

I call this magically disappearing time Mystery Minutes. And my rule of thumb is: Plan to leave 15 minutes prior to the actual time you need to leave.

In fact, plan 15 Mystery Minutes into all outings with children.

That’s 15 Mystery Minutes before you need to leave the playground, play date, etc. to make it somewhere else on time (or just because you want to leave). That allows for three “five minute warnings.” Which is where the Mystery Minutes come from: The fact that it takes at least three times longer than you think to herd children in your direction. Three times as long to convince them it’s a good idea, to assert your authority that they must comply, to entice them with a tempting enough carrot, or threaten them with a strong enough warning.

And, because no matter how carefully I’ve planned the steps to get us out the door, Son or Daughter will spring a surprise tactic or tantrum that sets us off course.

(This morning I cajoled Son into using nasal spray with a promise of two kitty cookies (one for each nostril). Well, of course Daughter then wanted some, too. What seemed like a good way to get him moving, turned into an all out tantrum when she insisted on five cookies.

“Just two!”
“Five!”
“We don’t eat cookies in the morning. Two or none.”
“None.”
None?”
“No, five!”

She was frustrated because she didn’t understand the rules. 1. We don’t usually get cookies in the morning so if we’re going to have two, why not five? 2. I usually negotiate on matters of little consequence. When did kitty cookies become a big deal?

So, I tell myself, if I’m going to break the rules, I should live with the consequences. And, if I’m going to break them, why not just give in all the way. More times than not, I realize later that whatever stubborn “rule” I held onto, was not worth my child’s tears.

And, next time, maybe I’ll plan for the full 30 Mystery Minutes so I’m not a crazed lunatic scrambling for snow pants and a second glove.

Now that we’re back to school, I can’t believe I lived without a regular weekly schedule. Last May I looked forward to the lazy, unstructured days of summer. I’m kind of a summer gal, actually, and relish beach time as much as my kids. I’m actually like a kid at the beach, happy to sit in the sand and help dig holes or bury feet.

But by around mid-July, I found myself short-tempered and calling my niece to help out twice a week. I kept harping on myself for not being able to hack it all day with my own two kids. But I see now how much a scheduled day and some simple structure helps keep my family in harmony. (Well, Husband goes off to work whether the kids and I live in harmony or not.)

And, the start of school inspired me to get off my butt and organize our mornings better, pack lunches the night before, even plan projects for after school. Oh, did I mention that I even set the table for breakfast last night and put out little bowls for an applesauce starter? Neither child touched it. But they did seem impressed with the whole set table thing and waited patiently for their scrambled eggs. A far cry from their usual pounding of forks on table while screaming, “Where’s my cereal?!”

Set Timetables
I also got smart and actually thought through how long it would take to get them ready and out of the house (hopefully, you’ve been doing this all along).

Here’s my morning schedule:
6-7:30 am Play or watch TV (I put out play dough when I made my coffee)
7:30 Make breakfast
7:45 Serve breakfast
8:00 Get dressed, brush teeth and hair, put on shoes
8:30 Get in car (remember the 15 magically disappearing minutes it takes to get the kids settled in carseats. Especially, if Son is buckling himself!)
8:50 Drive away to make 9:00 am drop off at school.

Of course, today I had the wonderful “Let’s not be late for our first day of school!” mantra to call upon. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

Recently a group of friends and I were lamenting the hassle of running errands with young kids. It’s a royal pain to unstrap them from the car seat, hoist them up and haul them in for a short stop at say, the dry cleaners or drug store. Witness my recent Nightmare in CVS episode to pick up Amoxicillin for two year old Daughter with ear infection:

“I’m sorry Ma’am, we don’t have it.”

“But I heard the nurse call it in!”

“Oh, here it is, but has your insurance changed?”

“Not since I picked up her fluoride vitamins last week!”

All the while Daughter is screaming in pain and lunging out of the cart or my arms. Put her down and she grabs candy from the toddler-height racks and cleverly rips it open. (Smart chick.) I vow never to return. Where is the new drive-through pharmacy in town?

Of course, the other secret solution is to leave your children unattended in the car for just a quick run into the store. Both illegal and dangerous, this option is only used in the most dire circumstances when your eyes can be on the kids from inside the store. And, anyone who’s ever tried this knows what a nervous wreck you are the entire time. First, in case Daughter or Son might be screaming even though you put favorite Barney CD on and opened books on their laps. But actually the greater fear is getting busted by a passerby who calls the cops. Even worse: a write up in the local paper’s Police Log that details said Irresponsible Mother who left children in car in the Store parking lot and claimed she was just “running in to get a few things.” Tssk Tssk.

The 2008 solution? Drive up service. Yep, my friend D. presented this ingenious solution at our girls’ night out. It’s perfect for dry cleaners and even her example, the liquor store! She pulls up front and dials the store:

“Hello, this is D. and I’m out front in the car with my kids. Would you mind bringing me two bottles of chilled Kendall Jackson?” That’s it. Easy as pie. She hands them her credit card or sets up a store charge. Works like a charm.

So, the other day, faced with sleeping Son and soon to be sleeping Daughter, I pulled up to a local vacuum repair shop. How am I going to do this? What if Daughter screams and wakes up Son? And then I remembered D.’s trick and decided to give it a try. I dialed the shop:

“Hi, this Heather Levy. I dropped off my vacuum the other day. Is it ready? Oh, great. Listen, I’m out front in my car with two sleeping kids in the back. Would you mind bringing it out?” He said sure.

And that was it. I handed him cash, he went in and made change and brought that out.

Now, I’m a convert. I realize my new trick’s only appropriate with certain merchants in certain settings, but imagine if stores starting marketing this service as a value added option? They’d corner the Mom market and keep our kids – and reputations – safe.

Uggggh, I’ve been holed up at home with my two toddlers for two and a half weeks while they’ve battled four (4!) illnesses. What a rough February! First, my son came down with croup. I though he needed to have a cold first but our pediatrician said the standard course is croup, cold, then possibly ear infection (yep, he got them all). When his cough wouldn’t subside after a week, she recommended children’s nighttime Triaminic. I balked. Weren’t children’s cough medicines banned recently by the FDA, I inquired? He’s old enough, she said. (The FDA banned them in Oct for children under two years. They are continuing studies for children ages 2 to 11 years.)

Contrary to my pediatrician’s prescription, I remembered warnings for children under six so I cautiously read the ingredients in all the childrens’ cough medicines at the pharmacy. Many had an anthistamine plus dextromethorphan or Pseudoephedrine (commonly found in Sudafed). I’m okay with the antihistamine. When the warnings first came out, a doctor told me it’s the safest choice since it’s natural. Plus, it’s recommended for bronchitis and is the only medicine that’s ever helped a bad cough of mine. I couldn’t justify the other ingredients. Sudafed makes me and most adults I know pretty crazed, how can I give it to a child? Plus, most reports have confirmed that standard cough medicines containing dextromethorphan simply don’t work. I left the pharmacy emptyhanded.

Instead, I tried honey. A colleage of my husband’s recommended a mixture of honey, oil (to smoothe it for stirring) and lemon juice. I tried honey and a little warm mater to mix it in the bottom of a sippy cup. Then I filled it with OJ. Both kids drank it down (by this time, S. was sick, too) and it seemed to work. I can’t be sure but a recent study reported in the New York Times indicated that a touch of honey makes a better cure than cough medicine. (Note: Do not give honey to infants under one year because of the slight risk of Botulism.)

Lucky me, their bout with croup, then double ear infections were followed by vomiting then diarrhea (from the antibiotic for the ear infection). I don’t have a solution yet for ailments of the gut other than lots of towels, laundry detergent, and patient motherly love. Here’s to a healthier March!

Disclaimer: Please check with your own pediatrician before giving your children any over the counter medications including antihistamines!