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Friday Night

Daughter comes into room at approximately 2 a.m.

 

“Mommy, my mosquito bite really itches.”

 

In the darkness, I slather anti-itch cream between her toes. I can’t really see but figure I’ve doused the bite and she’ll go back to sleep.

 

Ten minutes later, “Mommy, it’s still itching.”

 

I turn on the light and put more cream between her toes. We’ve been eating dinner on the back deck a lot. Boy, she sure got munched.

 

Half an hour later. “Mommy, it’s itching!”

 

I give her a Benadryl and she finally sleeps.

 

Saturday

 

Saturday morning, she sleeps in and comes down late in her PJs.  I don’t notice whether she’s still scratching her bites and have forgotten about our middle of the night itch fest. Husband takes the kids while I go for a hike and run errands.  

 

At 1 pm we meet in town to go to the beach together. I climb into the minivan, take one look at Daughter, and my eyes bug out. Her feet, legs, hands and arms are covered with raised, red welts. She’s scratching them terribly.

 

“She has Poison Ivy!” I exclaim, wondering if we should still head to the beach.

 

Husband has just picked up fourteen year old Niece, who’s staying with us for a week, and we’re all packed up and ready to go. So we circle the beach three times while hemming and hawing about what to do. I dial the pediatrician on call for the weekend but am cut off (poor cell service at the shore).

 

Finally, I declare, “It’s pretty cool out. Let’s get her in the salt water and see if that helps. If she’s uncomfortable, we can always leave.”

 

Fortunately, there isn’t a trace of humidity and the beach is cool so Daughter is actually much more comfortable once she gets wet and starts playing in the sand. 

 

I settle myself in a beach chair with my Blackberry and start Googling “itchy rashes in children.” In a flash, I’m flipping through full color photographs of big splotchy rashes, small bumps, blisters, clusters, you name it. One photo shows a child’s foot with bumps all over it. It’s labeled as…. Scabies. Yuck.

 

The phone rings. It’s my pediatrician.

 

“Hi, Heather. I just noticed you called and didn’t leave a message. What’s up?” she asks.

 

I tell her about Daughter’s condition and the photos I’m viewing on my phone.

 

“It could be Scabies, we’ve definitely seen that around here. But it also sounds like Poison Ivy. If she doesn’t have a fever and is feeling well otherwise, let’s see how she does. If she’s not better by tomorrow, call me.” She recommends an oatmeal bath and Benadryl to ease the itching.

 

Back home after a bath, which makes Daughter scratch more, I dress here in a long sleeve shirt, pants, and socks and that helps her keep from scratching. I give her Benadryl and wait to see what she looks like the next day.

 

Sunday

 

When Daughter wakes up, the rash has worsened and random bumps are moving up her hips and back. I give her another Benadryl and call the pediatrician. We agree to meet at the office at 10:30.

 

The minute Daughter’s clothes and socks are off, she scratches like crazy. Doctor still isn’t sure what kind of rash it is.

 

“It doesn’t look as weepy as Poison Ivy. It could be Poison Oak. It could also be from swimming in the Sound. Or Scabies.”

 

Mmmmm. I want a definitive diagnosis.

 

“Since it’s still spreading and she’s scratching so much, let’s put her on a steroid. We could also just treat her for Scabies in case that’s what it is.”

 

That involves putting a pesticide cream all over her body.

 

“I’d actually rather wait and know what it is.”

 

“Okay, the risk is just that it will clear up on the Prednisone and if it’s Scabies, it will come back and you’ll just have to treat her again.”

 

I truth, I’m not willing to accept that Daughter has Scabies (a tiny parasite that burrows into the skin – Yikes! Uggh! Ick!). Why would she get it and no one else? Why aren’t the rest of us scratching? If we just treat her for it, I won’t know if that’s what she really has. Or something else.

 

Monday and Tuesday

 

I spend the next two days obsessively trying to determine what type of rash Daughter has. It’s appearing symmetrically on both sides of her body. How can this be from a bug? I decide it must be something else and if Doctor doesn’t know, it’s up to me to figure it out.

 

Welcome to MomDiagnosis.com - my stint as a hyper Googling parent seeking answers to my child’s health mystery. (Husband does his best to ignore my bizarre behavior.)

 

I try to get an appointment with a dermatologist and wait for them to call with a cancellation. In the meantime, I spend every spare moment jumping on the computer to Google a new variation of my search theme.

 

Itchy rash on feet, legs, hands and arms.

 

Very itchy rash in child

 

Symmetrical rash in child

 

(There are about a dozen others but I won’t bore you.)

 

Monday afternoon I stop by a friend’s house to pick up some forms for a volunteer group and she remembers that Daughter had a fever the previous week.

 

“How’s she feeling?” she asks.

 

“Now she has a bad rash.”

 

“It’s Lyme Disease! I know it!” She is adamant that I have her checked for Lyme.

 

I return home and Google again.

 

Lyme Disease rash in children

 

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever! It’s a tick-borne disease that presents with fever and rash. Later that day, Daughter says her elbow hurts. Joint pain! (No matter that we live in New England. My brother and his family visited us from Boulder, Colorado the previous week. At MomDiagnosis.com, a tick can hop a ride across country to satisfy my quest for an answer.)

 

I call the Doctor. “Should we test her for Lyme?”  Even in my obsessed state, I’m too embarrassed to suggest Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

 

“It’s definitely not a Lyme rash,” she says.

 

I Google again. The rash for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever isn’t itchy. Oh.

 

Later that night, I remember that Son had Shingles when he was three and his reaction was similar to what Daughter is experiencing now. A very itchy rash covered his legs and moved up to his trunk. Or was it just one leg? How could both my children have the strange occurrence of Shingles as children after receiving the Chicken Pox vaccine?

 

I Google: Shingles in children

 

The pictures on the web for Shingles don’t really look like her rash. But a list of Comments about Shingles has some postings further down that name Oxyclean as the culprit in someone else’s child’s very itch rash on her feet, legs, hands and arms.

 

Yawn. I’m exhausted from my mad search for her true diagnosis. I don’t think it’s Oxyclean. It might be Shingles, or Scabies, or Poison Ivy.  And now it’s mostly cleared up from the Prednisone so it’s not even worth seeing the dermatologist I finally got an appointment with.

 

The real truth is that with the power of every medical site at my finger tips, I am hoping for some control over what ails her. Some ability to help her and not submit to the uncertainty of a doctor’s “I don’t know.”  

 

This is the third strange rash Daughter has had since birth. If something else is going on here, I don’t trust anyone else to dig as deeply as I will to get to the bottom of it.

 

A week later

 

Today is Daughter’s last day of Prednisone.

 

Will the rash come back indicating it’s Scabies and we need to begin extermination procedures?

 

Will another strange rash appear in a few months, driving me to diagnostic madness once again? (Husband will probably move out.)

 

Or will the last remnants of red dots fade away and we’ll never know what it really was.

 

Probably.

 

In the meantime, I’ve washed all her bedding in hot water. Just in case.

 

 

 

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Husband leaned in close, looked directly into my eyes and said, “You’re the CWO – the Chief Worry Officer.”

 

I smiled, well, smirked, back. He was right. In fact, my mind these days is consumed with worry.

 

Is it unhealthy for Daughter to live on Gogurt? Is she getting enough fruits and vegetables? Are three Max and Ruby’s a day too much? Should I have put her in camp instead of hiring a mother’s helper? She’s sunburned under her eyes! Will she have wrinkles at thirty?

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Sobbing, four year old Daughter stared defiantly back at me.

 

“Yogurt,” she choked.

 

“No!” I said for the third time.

 

Exactly why I chose to dig in my heels over her third yogurt is one of the great Mommy Mysteries. Sometimes, we aren’t capable of choosing our battles. They choose us.

 

Daughter, however, inherited not only the color of my eyes and my odd penchant for launching into one of a few alternate characters at any moment, but also my own particular strain of stubbornness. She can dig in her heels with equal gusto. The result? At times I resort to childish behavior to break the cycle.

 

Hence, when she wouldn’t budge and hand over the yogurt, I grabbed it from her tightly clenched fingers and pulled it away.

 

(You can decide who was acting more like a four year old at this point.)

 

We both stared at the streaks of strawberry yogurt spilled across the hardwood floor.

 

“You may not have a third yogurt! It will give you a tummy ache,” I said again with as much conviction as I could muster to justify my actions.

 

She just stared at me and sobbed.

 

Then, without another word, she turned around and sat down at the kids’ art table and started drawing. I cleaned up the floor and went about my business preparing dinner. I heard lots of hardy scribbling from the corner but she didn’t make a peep.

 

After awhile she walked over to me and held out a piece of a paper.

 

“Here, Mommy, I made a picture of you.”

 

I looked at her questioningly.

 

“Am I angry in it?”

 

“No.”

 

She handed it to me and there I was, a stick figure with a triangle skirt and - a happy face. “MOM” was written at the top.

 

She reached out and gave me a hug.

 

“I’m sorry I was angry. Thank you for my picture,” I said into her hair. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

We were at peace again.

 

I put the drawing in the recipe stand on the kitchen counter and glanced at it over the next few days, thinking about her ability to draw through her feelings and process what had happened between us. And come out in a good place. It seemed that for all my mommy screw ups she had at least one healthy approach of resolving them.

 

And then one day I remembered all her ferocious scribbling in the corner that afternoon and I got to wondering…. So, I went over to the art table and picked through the sheets of old drawings. Sure enough, a few pages in I found the preliminary drawings. There I was, a stick figure with a triangle skirt. But instead of a happy smile, I had a circle for a mouth. Angry Mommy. She’d expressed me. And herself. And in the happy face that sat on my counter, found a way to move on.

 

 

 

 

 

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Six year old Son loves sports. LOVES them. Baseball, football, soccer. He loves watching them on TV. And he especially loves playing them. But basketball is his favorite. It runs in the family. Husband is six feet, six inches tall and basketball is in his blood. Son’s too.

 

Not mine. I’m more of the hiking, rollerblading, cycling, long walks type of athlete. I think I could run to the end of my street. Maybe.

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Six year old Son has a girlfriend. They had a play date yesterday. At her house. Believe me, I was dying to see how their romance is unfolding  - or what six year olds who plan to marry do on a play date – but she’s afraid of dogs and well, our new puppy’s here to stay.

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or

How to Teach Your Child to Go to Sleep and Sleep Through the Night

Four months ago, we were at our wits end. Daughter, who was at the tail end of three years old, wouldn’t stay in her bed all night. She’d come into our room, beg to sleep with us, then beg for us to sleep with her. We’d sleepily say no, then do whatever was necessary to get us all back to sleep. That usually meant sleeping with her for awhile – several times. After all, once you crawl into their beds, kids notice when you get up to go back to your own. They wake up. And it starts all over again.

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Pack Mom

 

He ran ahead of me on the trail, his ears flopping back and forth and his nose pressed down to the ground. Puppy, our 3 ½ month old Golden Retriever, was beginning to fulfill my dream as a hiking companion – among all my other hopes and wishes for him to fulfill as our first dog. (No, his name is not really Puppy but in the spirit of what I call the rest of my family on this blog, he’ll be Puppy, for now.)

 

We’ve spent the last three weeks since he came home with us getting to know each other. Me, establishing my role as Pack Mom. He, displaying his puppy personality: Pretty mellow, loves to chew, adores a belly rub, and will cop a sit on the sofa faster than I can say, “Don’t even think about it!”

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Boy Talk

 

Son arrived home from school two days ago and a short while into our afternoon he said,

 

“Friend is getting me a DS. His Dad can get one for $10.”

 

Son hasn’t yet expressed interest in this handheld gaming system and I’ve been relieved yet waiting for when it would come up.

 

“Okay,” I replied evenly. “I didn’t know you even wanted a DS.”

 

“Well, Friend’s Dad can get me one for $10.”

 

Now, I have no idea how much these things cost but they probably go for a bit more than $10 and I know for sure that Friend’s Dad’s profession is nowhere near the gaming business. Friend is more of an Acquaintance Friend (as opposed to a Close Friend) and I don’t know the parents well so it was hard to tell what the two had conjured up. It sounded a little fishy and like harmless boy talk.

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It was 11 p.m. and Husband pushed the gazillionth mini-marshmallow into the frosting on the side of the mammoth butterfly cake. He was smiling. Finally.

 

Two hours earlier I had pushed two sheet cakes towards him and said, “We need to turn these into a butterfly cake for Sophie’s party tomorrow.”

 

He was exhausted after a long day with the kids. I was exhausted. But the butterfly party was the next day, at our house, and I had committed to a butterfly cake. Husband’s an artist. He can do it!

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Last week with a snow day looming, I thought of all the To Dos we could accomplish while home all day. Make all the Valentines (two classes) for Friday! Write overdue Thank you notes from Son’s birthday party! Practice karate combinations! Watch a movie! Watch another movie! And so on.

 

When we woke up to fluffy flakes falling from the sky, I thought of the long hours of indoor activities stretched out before us. Maybe some structure would help ward off the whining and fights I knew would come by midday.

 

“Let’s make a list for our day!” I suggested as if this was an activity in itself.

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